How I Wish

How I Wish

This is a short story that is very loosely based on my own childhood and how I wish in hindsight that things would have gone. Beginning of this story really happened to me but pretty soon we delve into the world of how I wish it would have gone. For a change I decided to do this in one shot. Simple, straightforward and one-shot thing.

This happened in the late 90’s when I was 10 years old and on the 3^rd grade. I was bullied at school daily and due to the fact that the bullying was at it’s worst in the boy’s bathroom which teachers rarely checked during the recess. This caused me to avoid the boy’s bathroom like the plague and I didn’t use it once during the entire school day if I could help it. My record of success wasn’t very good. Mostly because I had to walk home from school. Distance between my school and my home was about 3 kilometers (1.8 miles). I always tried to find a quiet place to pee during my walk home but since the area which I walked through was just houses after houses it meant that I would have got caught sooner or later, got yelled at, my parents would have been told about it and then yelled and punished some more. So, I was out of luck on that one too. This was one of those days when I just couldn’t hold it and had to walk home with wet pants. Thankfully it was still warm outside, early fall so I didn’t need to walk and freeze myself also. I knew what was coming.

My mom was home, she saw what had happened. I knew the drill by now. Pants off, spanking and stern scolding. At this time my mom was home almost always before me. She was studying but she also had to take care of my baby sister. My mom’s favorite threats to me was “If this continues, I’m going to diaper you.” I guess I could have made things at home easier if I would have told her about the bullying but I knew if grown ups would be involved, soon the bullying would be even worse and could get physical. I was a small size kid so I wasn’t going to be winning any fist fights. So anyway, this was just another one of those days I thought. I get spanking and scolding and that’s that. But this time mom did something I hadn’t expected. She took off my pants, told me to take a shower and come to their bedroom after that. She also told me not to put any pants on before coming to see her. I was puzzled but I did as I was asked. I finished my shower and walked into my parent’s bedroom and saw mom standing next to the changing table they had there for changing my sister’s diapers. I put two and two together and saw what she wanted. Mom told me to get up on it. I said no I don’t want to. She gave me a look that told me that if I say no one more time I would get spanking and diapers. Her spankings hurt so I decided that I better do as I’m told. Lesser of two evils I thought. Mom helped me get up on the changing table which was bit too small for me even with my short size. In total silence she proceeded to diaper me into one of my sister’s pampers diapers with powder and all. I felt so ashamed.

My mom helped me off the changing table and I looked at the diaper that was put on me. I wanted to sink to the center of the earth. I asked how long would I have to wear this thing. She told me till I go to school tomorrow. The last thing before you leave to school is that I will give you your underwear back. I asked if I would have to use these things. Mom simply said yes and that she would be checking me every now and then to see if I needed a change. I tried to peg and plead her not to do this to me but no avail. She simply told me to go and get dressed and do your homework. I knew there was no point trying to argue with her. I went to my room and threw on some clothes. I tried to find pants that would hide my embarrassing punishment. No matter which pants I tried though I couldn’t hide the loud diaper crinkling under my pants. I just got to working on my homework and tried to get comfortable with my new odd underwear on. It was difficult to concentrate on my homework because I kept feeling this odd feeling that I couldn’t put my finger on. I finally managed to get my homework done. It was dinner time and by now dad had come home also.

I guess mom had told him what had happened earlier since dad didn’t even blink an eye when mom told me to drop my pants and show her what the condition of my diaper was. Blushing I did as I was asked. I thought it was better not to make mom any angrier. Who knows what might happen next if I did? We ate dinner in silence and I went to watch TV. After about an hour I felt that I needed to pee really badly. I got up and went to ask mom if she could take the diaper off so I could use the toilet. She told me no. Go in your diaper. That’s what it’s for. I begun to get quite upset but I didn’t want to risk the chance of spanking. So, I stomped into my room and tried to get a comfortable position to pee. Finally, I settled on to crouching down and I really had to focus and try to push to get anything out. I felt my diaper getting wet and that odd feeling returning. After I finished, I went to see my mom to ask if I could get out of my diaper now since I peed in it. She asked did I need to poop. I said yes. She told me to go poo in your diaper, might as well since it’s already used. I actually saw the point she was making. After lot of trying I felt a mushy poo fill my diaper. Mom noticed it too and took me by the hand and put me back on the changing table. I knew what was coming so I tried my best to zone out and forget what was happening. Mom finished taping another one my sisters pampers diapers on me. She told me to go and brush my teeth and it would be bedtime soon but she wanted to talk to me about something first. I got off the changing table and went to put on my pjs and brushed my teeth. It still felt really weird to walk around with a diaper on but I had to admit myself it didn’t feel all that bad.

By the time I got back to my room my mom was already there waiting for me. She told me to get under the covers and she wanted to ask me something. I just stared at her and asked about what. She began asking if I was being bullied at school and all kind of stuff about school. I didn’t want to answer but I also didn’t want to lie to my mom so I just told her the truth. She simply said that’s what she thought. Apparently, my teachers had noticed my behavior and called my parents. I said I didn’t want to go boy’s bathroom because there the bullying was the worst. She told me she understood. That she was bullied when she went to school when she was younger. Then she asked me how did I like wearing diapers. I told her it was better than wet and messy pants but I still didn’t feel quite comfortable with the idea. Mom told me she understood and that she had a suggestion for me. I wouldn’t need to answer her now. She said that she wanted the answer by the time I got back home from school tomorrow. She asked would I like to wear diapers full time. Day and night and do all my needs in diapers. She said I wouldn’t be treated like a baby or anything. Just that my underwear would be diapers from now on and that she or school nurse would change me. She told me to think about it and give my answer the next day after school. With that she kissed my forehead good night and left. My head was spinning. I thought about it long time until I eventually fell asleep.

Next morning was uneventful and like she promised mom took off my diaper that was still dry and clean, let me use the toilet and I was off to school. I couldn’t really concentrate at school that day because what my mom had suggested me was taking all my focus and I tried to think all the pros and cons of the suggestion. By the time I got back home that day I had made my decision. This time I made it back home with dry pants. As soon as I closed the front door my mom was waiting for me. She asked me if I had made my decision. I told her I had. I would wear diapers from now on. She seemed happy and told me to come to my room. As soon as I got to my room, I saw a big cardboard box in the corner of my room with Pampers logo on it. I looked at my mom and she simply said she had a feeling I might answer yes to her suggestion so she went ahead and got me some of my own diapers. Besides my sister’s diapers weren’t that good for me she said. She told me to lay down on my bed. I took off my pants and laid down knowing what was about to happen and I was actually happy for the first time in a long time. My mom powdered and diapered me. As soon as I got up, I felt that these were much thicker than the ones I had on yesterday. I also told this to my mother. She laughed and said of course. You’re not a baby like your sister. These are meant for big kids. So how do you feel she asked. I feel safe and comfortable I replied. Mom laughed, tussled my hair and told me to do my homework. I did my homework and the evening went by uneventfully. I didn’t bother wearing pants over my diaper. I thought that people would find out sooner or later about my diapers. That was bound to happen. Sure, my bullies would get one more thing to make fun of me but I didn’t really care. One more thing in the ocean of bullying. Big deal.

After that day. Days turned to weeks and months turned to years. I stood my ground in diapers. It took me awhile but I figured out eventually that I was meant to be in diapers. First few years mom changed my diapers but as I grew up, she wanted me to change myself. I had no problem with that. This was my path. Path that my mom maybe unwittingly put me on but I’m thankful she did.